Taking time out…which is rare here…I went for a walk to the creek to do some thinking, and ponder the question that has been with me since I landed on this Guatemalan soil: “What am I doing here?”. I do know why I am here, I just hadn’t pinpointed what specifically I want to bring to this life adventure, to this project, to this country.

Thinking Tree

I have been content to ‘help’ and ‘follow’. Both of which are very useful traits over here… there is sooooo much to be done, so many people and projects that need help in implementing their visions…. But ‘following’ left me restless and frustrated that here I am not the strong motivated sought after teacher figure that I am in Australia. I know that such feelings are normal and natural, but I am not used to felling lost and out-of-my-depth. So this little nature walk was my plea to myself, and the universe to ‘figure it out’.

And I did.

I thought about the things that have really inspired me since I have been here. Workshops with the campesinos, seeing the new and vibrant countryside… and most importantly working with the children. Not speaking the language properly does not stop me from entertaining them by pulling fishfaces and hanging them upside down by their feet. I thought back on the workshop that we had given the week before in a local school, to teach them how to fill plastic bottles with rubbish, so we can use these ‘eco ladrillos’ to build a house. The children and teachers loved having us there: we brought new vision, and new energy…And the children responded incredibly to what we were offering. Like all children across the world they were a sponge for the ideas that we were presenting. They accepted them openly, and jumped straight in and had a go! This is the very reason that I became a teacher in the first place.

Thinking Stones

Part of me thought that coming here to Guatemala meant that I had to give up on my teaching career…. Isn’t it funny the things we tell ourselves, and believe!! But as I pulled all these experiences together in my head, a butterfly landed at my feet on the rock I was perched on in the middle of the flowing stream. It stayed where it was, content in it’s position amidst the chaos of the bubbling torrent of water that was mere millimeters away from it’s delicate feet…. It cleaned it’s antennae, and fluttered it’s wings… being and doing what it was created to do. And as it perched there I was drawn again to thinking about what I feel that I am created to do. And that is to work with children. I saw myself perched on the edge of a bubbling torrent of doubt and chaos that wants to drag me into the realm of ‘going through the motions’….  But as I watch the butterfly head up to the trees, I too chose to spread my wings and take off in the direction that inspires me. The direction that allows me to do what I do best. Teach.

And with this in mind I cross the creek, and take the long walk back to the bustling house full of co-workers and community members, and I draft a letter to the Executive Director of Seres……