My last blog posed the question of “Where am I supposed to be?”. Merely a couple of weeks later I have posed myself the question “What am I supposed to be doing?”.
When I sit back and look at my position here I blindingly see that I do not have skills that make me indispensable to Seres. I am not an ergonomist, a money maker, a horticulturalist, a grant writer or an architect. I know that I have many skills: in my field I am considered a ‘sought after teacher’ and a ‘highly motivated and innovative teacher’…. But here the extensive knowledge that I have of child psychology and development does not help me communicate in spanish, and my intimate understanding of the NSW Education Curriculum does not help me raise the funds needed to sustain this work.
While I contend with the task of defining my volunteer position here within Seres, I realise that I may not have obviously transferable skills…. but I am HERE. The horticulturalist is not here. The architect is not here. They are in their lives in other parts of the world. As I once was…..
Brainstorming with the community action group in San Pedro
So the fact that I am here is the reality that I hold onto. My desire to be here, and my desire to help are the skills that I need to make a difference, are the reasons that I need to stay.
My motivation and willingness to learn are skills that make me useful here. Because I am willing to be here in Guatemala I am useful. Because I am motivated to make a difference I am useful. And deep within my heart I know that I am in the right place.
As I write this I am in a workshop that Corrina is giving to a group of campasinos [local farmers] and towns people in San Pedro who have come together to make a difference in their own town. And although I do not understand all of what is being said, I see the passion and the fire within them that I recognise within myself. Looking around the room of men and women, from different backgrounds and professions I realise that they too are coming to terms with the idea of defining their role as ‘change makers’, as ‘role models’ for their respective communities…..however it is the fact that they showed up is the vital step forward to discovering their specific roles. The fact that they are HERE is the fact that ensures that they are going to succeed in one way or another.
Such inspiring landscapes.
So with this in mind I go about my unconventional life here in Guatemala, so far away from my origins…. yet so dear to my heart. And I take comfort in the reflection that I too have ‘showed up’….. so how can I not be useful?!
I am HERE, and I am giving it my all. I am learning, I am listening, and “poco a poco’ I am finding my feet and getting things done.
That is what I am supposed to do.
